Will you help me if I fall?

The morning was cold and windy but sunny and beautiful. I was so distracted that on my way out of the train station in Helsinki, when my fingers started freezing,  I realized I had forgotten my gloves in the train.  No can do, the composition was too long and I would never remember in which wagon I was if I came back.

I crossed the street to take the tram and the sign showed I would have to wait for long 9 minutes. I was just cursing myself for having forgotten the gloves. My shallow thoughts were cut off by a noise and a scream. I looked at the other side of the street and there was a man: he fell from his wheelchair, his right leg had been amputated until the knee, his nose had a huge scab of a not so old wound, his things – including a crutch – fell all over the ground. He started to make an effort to go back to the wheelchair but it was old and broken, without any breaks. While he tried to sit the chair went backwards. He started laughing, I realized he was completely drunk.

I crossed the street immediately to help that poor miserable man while 10 meters away ( just next to him), probably around 50 people who were waiting for the tram were there just staring at the guy with their pity faces. No attitude. Nobody made even a slightly small move of consideration to help a disabled person who fell down to go back to his wheelchair.

I approached and asked if I could help him. He immediately thanked me and asked to hold the chair for him to go up. I did it. After he sat down I picked up his crutch from the ground and asked if I could help with something else. Showing me his cellphone with the screen totally damaged he said with a big laugh: “Could you help me buying a new phone?” I laughed back and we both moved away to our destinations.

And here´s my thought: Why the hell NOBODY else helped?

There was really a lot of people there: men, women, young, old, middle-aged. A lot of people who just didn´t give a damn to a poor “miserable drunk crippled” who fell from a wheel chair. How can it be possible?

Please, give only one reason to justify why in this world you deny help to a person without a leg who falls from a wheelchair? I really wish to understand it…

When I was 5 months pregnant I slipped on the street and fell. In order to protect my belly from hitting the ground I folded my knees and tried to stretch my arms and put both hands on the ground first. Thank God it worked, I didn´t hit the belly but of course I hurt myself. And there I was: a pregnant woman crying on the floor. People passed by me, NOBODY helped. A guy showed his solidarity by looking at me and saying: “ouch!”

And here I ask you again to give me one reason to justify why in this world you deny help to a pregnant woman who falls on the street? I really wish to understand it…

Let´s go back 6 years to the first time I saw something similar happening in Finland:

I was at the train station in Kouvola, ready to go to Helsinki, checking the timetable when suddenly I heard a noise of something big falling. Just 20 meters away from me I saw a magazine shelf on the ground. I saw a man laying down next to it and ran up to help. The first thing I thought: “The shelf fell over him, he might be hurt.”

He actually wasn´t. He was drunk and probably dropped the shelf while trying to hold it not to fall. He had a baguette sandwich which fell from his hands. He sat down and cried.

I helped him to get up, got the sandwich (it was wrapped in paper so he could still eat it), helped him to get up, took him to a sit, unwrapped the sandwich and gave it to him who looked at me deep in the eyes and said: “You are an angel, thank you.” He actually asked if he could give me a hug, I said of course, he cried, I cried.

When the shelf fell and the guy was laying down on the ground, many people saw it, including the shop keeper. NOBODY helped.

And here I am again, asking you the same question: Please, give me ONE reason to justify why in this world you see a shelf falling almost over a person, you see this person laying down on the ground and you don´t help? I really wish to understand it…

Why is it so difficult to help people in need? Why is it so difficult to be kind? Why is it so difficult to be cordial?

I would really like to hear the answers  but please, don´t even dare trying to justify this kind of things by saying “Finnish people are shy”, “Finnish people are afraid of approaching” because if these are actual reasons to deny help to someone in need, my advice is: please, go right now to look for a doctor or a shrink because you really need it…

To finish off I leave you with a little thought for reflection: do you believe in happiness without kindness? Do you really think your attitude towards the others won´t affect society in whole? When you think about all problems related to depression, alcoholism, suicide, don´t you think a little more kindness could make a difference?

Tallenna